One day, sometime in the 1990 decade, about the time the kids were getting home from school and the house was getting crazy, on Oprah in the background of the kitchen chaos, I heard the phrase, "it's just that my life's on hold". I don't really remember what the show was about, but I do remember her frustration. In those few moments, when I didn't really have the time or attention to process much, I remember thinking, "boy can I relate"!
At 11 years old, my parents divorced and as the oldest daughter with five younger siblings, my childhood was a lot of taking care of others needs. I was married at 20, and at 22 two months pregnant as I graduated from college. Thirteen month after the birth of my first baby came baby number 2. With a husband starting his career, and then his own business, moves, and three more babies along the way - my life defined- was keeping up with the needs of my family.
Yet it surprised me that weeks later, thinking about this "life on hold" comment, what was haunting me wasn't my life waiting to be lived with me as the main character. Instead it was the question that a "life on hold", or one where the primary concern was the happiness and welfare of someone else, was somehow less fulfilling, less important, less of a life than one lived primarily for themselves with their own agendas and goals.
I pondered that question for a long time, and while I never actually answered that question, I did discover many beautiful life lessons I have learned not despite the fact that my life was on hold, but as a direct result of having a life on hold!
So I will attempt to share lessons I've learned from my "life on hold".
No comments:
Post a Comment